I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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