I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
