She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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