right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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