Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
