yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
