And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
