Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
