This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You have to summon your inner elephant
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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