If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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