dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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