It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
