I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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