Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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