I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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