On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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