I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
