I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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