Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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