i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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