Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
