How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
