with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
