Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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