hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
