Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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