somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
