brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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