so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
