You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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