dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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