I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just blew my weed a kiss
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
