I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
