I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
