thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
