I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
