We're facebook friends in real life
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
