Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
