I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
