he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
