i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
