you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
