Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Oh god it's open bar.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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