11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize