dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
