Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
