What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
