I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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