I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
