Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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