i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
