Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
